When I found God.

Uncategorized

So, I'm guessing you've read about how I was broken. Now for where the GREATNESS began.

I've always felt like my life has been a wild goose chase with God. I was baptised a catholic when I was a baby and it's weird to think that after being at a catholic primary school (and religous education being part of the curriculum), I had no clue how to see God as more than just the "Big Boss". I mean like, how to really build a relationship with Him. It took 20 long years but… God is always on time!

When I came back to realise the fate of my relationship, it really took it's toll on me. I started beating myself up blaming everything that had happened on myself. I never slept through the night and everything just spiralled downhill from there. I was desperate, though at the time I wasn't entirely sure what it was that I needed, I just knew that I had an overwhelming hollow feeling. Sometimes I would just sit in the corner of my room holding my mouth so noone could hear me cry. I always thought about God and I admired his relationship with my cousin who was so happy all the time.. I wished I had that. I found myself listening to Christian music to calm my anxiety, one song in particular. It's called Holy Spirit by Kim Walker-Smith. The chorus reads; "Holy Spirit you are welcome here, come flood this place and fill the atmosphere." Nothing calmed me down like this song did.

A few weeks after I got back, my cousin told me about a conference that Church Unlimited was running, with guest speakers from around the world. The conference had a registration fee but this particular night was free so my cousin invited me along and since I hadn't seen her in a while, I thought I'd check it out. Can I just say… best decision ever! Tears ran down my face as everything that the guest speaker was preaching about, felt like he was saying directly to me. When he was wrapping up his sermon, he asked everyone to close their eyes and pray for the next chapter of their life. When we did in all irony, the band sang the words "Holy Spirit you are welcome here, come flood this place and fill the atmosphere.." and the whole congregation of 3,000 started singing along. It was the most beautiful thing. In a crowd of thousands, I was alone with God and it was life changing. This is where my journey towards healing started.

I'll be sharing some of the things I've learnt so far. And I hope that someday, someone reads this and feels compelled to start their journey too 🙂

-R.K